I am just sick with disappointment, disgust, betrayal, and flat out dishonesty. I don't know about you out there in the world, but I am losing my faith in mankind. All I ever hear on the news is about this murder, that rape, mass genocide, war, oil, kidnapping, fires, etc etc... WTF is the world coming to? Worse thought, what are we in store for in the future? Who wants to have kids in a world that is flat out disgusting and extremely scary?? I would fear for my children's future in a world that is falling apart and oozing with greed, hate, and dehumanization. It's as if no one actually cares for their fellow man anymore. I was watching CNN on Tuesday and saw that this little girl was kidnapped and her body was found 1 week later. It made me so sick to my stomach and actually completely ruined my day. I guess, I just don't get it. I don't understand such hate and disregard for human life. I try to help people whenever I can and make things easier for my loved ones and friends and whoever. The sick people out there scare me so much that it makes you wanna lock up yourself and everyone you love so nothing bad can ever happen to you or them.
Even in my own personal life I feel like I'm losing my grip on the edge of sanity. The ol' saying "When it rains, it pours" couldn't be more true. I have personally had a crisis hit my life for 4/6 days. Each day was a different, upsetting crisis. I'm at the point now where I just feel emotionless secondary to having so many sad/depressing emotions. It's very discouraging when you feel like you invest so much into something and it doesn't quite pan out the way it was supposed to. Then you start re-evaluating yourself and decisions you've made and you drive yourself crazy with this part of the thing they call life... I try and try to be the best I can for everyone around me and myself and when you constantly get shit on you start to get internally angry. This is when you throw the shit back!
I can get angry at the world for what a disgrace it has become... Or I can do my best to make a difference with the little voice and impact I have. I can let life give me a whole effing barrel of lemons and I'm just gonna either make a shit ton of lemonade... Or say eff off, and throw each lemon back and each aspect of life that has led me to that point. I only have so many ol' college tries left in me. I am reaching the point of straight up pissed... maybe even bitter or sour (god damn lemons!).
I am a strong believer in the fact that no one has the right to make you feel like crap. You and yours should be happy all the time and strive for pure bliss. I will still live by this and always will. I'm just saying that sometimes we change secondary to life events. These changes may only be internal and noticed only by you, but they are there none the less. I am dealing and coping with a lot right now and I'm gaining new strength from what I'm going through. But this time some bitterness and sourness are tagging along and maybe this is just part of growing up. Realizing that life ain't so sweet all the time and we just need to accept that bad things are gonna happen and we just need to be prepared for that.
Ready, Set, Prepare!!!
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